August 2004

Maritime Humour

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy vessel with Canadian authorities off Newfoundland in October, 1995. The radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on October 10, 1995:

Americans:

"Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision."

Canadians:

"Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision."

Americans:

"This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians:

"NO, I say again, divert YOUR course."

Americans:

"THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE RUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians:

"This is a lighthouse. Your call!"