Some Different Marine Definitions
Aboard - 1) A piece of construction lumber. 2) What
one becomes when one is a-uninterested.
Afterguy-Last guy in a line
Amidships - Surrounded by boats. Often confused with
the displaying of an anchor.
Anchor - 1) A device designed to bring up mud and
weed samples from the bottom. 2) What you display when you're surrounded
by other boats.
Anchor Light- A small light used to indicate the battery
Berth - A newborn crew member.
Bitter End - 1) The last racer of the finish line.
2) The wrong end of a siphon hose. 3) The time to alert the bartender
in the English pub. (USA definition=Last Call before closing.)
Boom - Loud noise made during a jibe sometimes quieted
by a grinder before swimming. (also see Grinder, Helmsman).
Boomkin - A very young boom.
Bottom Paint - 1) Paint found on a pair of pants after
the cockpit seats have been freshly painted. 2) The most dented
can of paint.
Bow - 1) The best part of the ship to ram another
with. 2) Front part of catamarans often found underwater.
Bunk - Location to store unused sails.
Can Buoy - (Pronounced Can BOY) - A male with diarrhea.
Chart - A nautical map that shows what you just hit.
Chine - Word used after, "rise and ..."
Chock - Full right up to here...
Clew - 1) What a skipper is inclined to do. 2) An
oriental crew member. 3) What a new sailor doesn't have any of.
Companionway - 1) A double berth. 2) A narrow channel.
Cunningham- A sly pig.
Dangerous Waters - Lying to your spouse.
Deadrise - Waking up before sunrise.
Dead Reckoning - 1) What a Southern Doctor pronounces
after a sailor goes to Davy Jone's Locker. 2) Using a map instead
of a chart.
Deviation - 1) Shipboard orders given by a landlubber.
2) Any departure from the captain's orders. 3) A ship full of deviates.
Displacement - Accidental loss, i.e. when you dock
your boat and later can't find it.
Estimated Position - 1) Where you're not. (common
after multiple rhumb lines.)
Foreguy - 1) First guy in a line.
Foul Wind - 1) A breeze made by a goose. 2) An odor.
Freeboard - 1) Food supplies from the owner. 2) Free
Great Circle - 1) Ships course when the rudder is
stuck. 2) What's around your eye after a fight. 3) A depression
left in a seat cushion.
Grinder - Crew member stationed near the boom and
enjoys swimming. (see boom).
Halyard - 1) Line that fails when you're winning 2)
Measurement according to Hal.
Hatch - 1) Opening on a boat made to fall in. 2) Where
you store eggs. 3) What a lookout wears on his head while cruising
the polar regions.
Headway - 1) What you are making when fixing the toilet.
2) A desert the cook makes, similar to "curds 'n whey".
Heaving Line - 1) The line used to hold onto while
being sick. Often found after making headway. 2) The location next
to a rhumb line.
Heave to - The second person to get sick.
Keel - A heavy depth gauge.
Helmsman - 1) One who actually listens to the tactician.
2) A crew member who enjoys an uncontrollable jibe. (also see Boom).
Landlubber - Anyone on board who shouldn't be.
Latitude - The number of degrees "off-course"
allowed to a guest.
Lazy Guy - Most sailers when they're not
Lazy Jack - 1) The title given to the guy who's crewed
on other boats one time only. 2) Item found in trunk of car that
has very good tires and/or often left at home by trailer sailers.
Leech- A crewmember that's always broke.
Luff- What a helmsman never notices. (see Telltale)
Marine Flashlight - Waterproof place to store dead
Naval Warfare - Two bellies rubbing.
Nun Buoy (pronounced Nun BOY)- A religious transvestite.
OD Paint - Paint applied Over-Dirt.
Port - A fine red wine, always stowed on the left
side of the boat.
Reef Point - A portion of rock sticking out of the
Rhumb Line - Two or more crew members waiting for
Ring Buoy - Otherwise known as a ring bearer in weddings
Round Rigger - 1) Crew member who hides in a rum barrel.
2) Opposite of a square rigger.
Sextant - 1) A brass device used to detect night time
activities of guests. 2) Canvass shelter devices used while camping
when the kids are in school.
Sheet - 1) Line designed to make gloves fail. 2) Something
with the ability to tangle on anything.
Shroud - Equipment used in connection with the wake.
Snatch Block - 1) A term used by sailors returning
late from shoreleave. 2) A female crew member you can't seem to
Spinnaker - A large sail deployed in dead calm winds
used to keep the crew busy.
Spring Line - 1) A line purchased at the beginning
of the season. 2) Coils of metallic rope.
Square Rigger - 1) An old salt. 2) Sailor who goes
to sleep early. 3) Opposite of a round rigger.
Submarine - A long sandwich.
Swell - 1) The best of something. 2) A mound made
by mosquitoes you'll probably scratch.
Tactician - 1) One who counts screws and nails. 2)
The luckiest or sorriest member of a crew.
Telltale - Talk about last night on shore.
Throw Line - An excuse used by a baseball pitcher
after blowing it.
Winch - An object you grind until it groans. (Often
confused with wench)
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